Remember When...?

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Can you remember when you were spiralling? Unravelling? And essentially, falling apart due to circumstances beyond your control. Have you been there? I certainly have.

Even in moments when you try to remain calm, your nervous system betrays you and you can’t seem to settle. Someone tells you to calm down, or stop freaking out, or that it isn’t a big deal and you wonder why you hadn’t thought of that in the first place!

If only it was that easy. If only it was as easy as telling yourself, “it isn’t a big deal”. There’s nothing to panic about. There’s nothing to fear. Simply get over it and move on. 

But it isn’t that easy. It isn’t easy to get past our fears. It isn’t easy to override that primal instinct for self-protection and danger avoidance. No matter how irrational it actually is, our bodies are telling us something. They’re just not always sending helpful messages.

To Fear or Not to Fear

This is why I’ve often struggled with the command that is frequently repeated in Scripture to “fear not". It’s repeated so often, in fact, that we read variations of the command to “fear not”, 365 times. Yes, you read that right. That’s one for every day of the year. Why? Because we sure do need the reminder every day. 

The truth is that God’s command to “fear not” carries profound meaning because his words carry weight and authority to back them up. Unlike our sentimental attempts at comfort when we tell someone to “not worry”, when God speaks, things happen. You’ve heard the Scripture declaring God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). Well this extends to God’s words compared to our words as well. The sovereignty and power behind God’s words are the same as when he spoke the universe into existence and when Jesus declared “it is finished” from the cross. 

Reality alters with God’s words. So when he tells us to “fear not”, He’s not just giving good advice in a sticky situation. These are not mere “thoughts and prayers” sentiments. The words God speaks release the power and peace that make it possible to “fear not”. 

I’ll be honest, this makes so much sense to me intellectually. My brain is fascinated by this truth and my heart is even comforted by it—as long as it’s in a “rest state”. But when I’m spiralling in fear and my nervous system is making me want to crawl up the wall, the command to “fear not” isn’t doing it for me. 

My struggle with this command is that it isn’t as simple as not murdering or not stealing, by comparison. Those are actions your body can refrain from. To “fear not” is to not feel an emotion. How do you tell yourself to not feel something that seems to just emerge involuntarily?

By remembering.

You see, while the Bible tells us 365 times to “fear not”, the command telling us to remember or do not forget is found over 1,200 times depending on your translation.  

And therein lies our antidote. 

Remembering who God is and what he has done serves as the ultimate antidote to our fear.

How do we get over our fear? By remembering what God has done. 

You see, fear thrives on cognitive distortions. We either catastrophize a situation by expecting the worst or by predicting disaster. Something happens that triggers us and we fall immediately into a core belief. That core belief is some kind of hidden assumption that we are unsafe and that we can’t do anything about it.

Sleepless in Situations

As I type this in the early hours of the morning, it is still dark outside. Considering how early the sun rises in the summer, that should tell you something about how early it really is. The truth is, I couldn’t sleep due to a health concern. It’s nothing serious—something small but unresolved, and it was keeping me up and leaving me too restless to fall back asleep. That “something” is fear. Fear causes cognitive distortions to thrive and, in my experience, especially at night.

So I stopped trying to win a medal for tossing and turning and got up to work on this post instead. Turns out, it was the therapy I didn’t know I needed. When “do not fear” isn’t working or isn’t enough to stop the spiralling and unravelling, the command to remember is what shifts the focus. 

Remember Whose You Are

Actively remembering the things God has done can be likened to making a withdrawal from the bank account of God’s faithfulness. Our own experiences with God make us rich in life. Rich because we are recipients of God’s blessings—his grace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, and love. Think of moments when he came through, when he provided, when he comforted, when his presence brought peace—these are all stored up for us to recall when we are faced with a challenge or a threat. And if your balance is running low from your own experience, look to Scripture. The library of Scripture is one big story of God’s faithfulness to fallen humanity.

Perhaps you feel helpless—like everything is spinning out of control and beyond your ability to change or repair. Being told to “fear not” may not be helpful at the visceral level, but you can actively look for evidence of order by reminding yourself of God’s sovereignty.

Tell yourself, “I may not be in control, but God is, and he is trustworthy and good and that’s why I need not fear.”

Perhaps you feel isolated—like you’re completely alone in this scary situation and no one is with you or understands. Being told to “fear not” may not change that feeling of loneliness, but you can actively recall the truth that God is omnipresent. In Matthew 28:20, Jesus tells his followers that he is with them always, even to the end of the age. Tell yourself, “I may feel like I am alone in this, but I am not alone because God is always with me.”

Perhaps you feel vulnerable—like a certain outcome would ruin your life. Being told to “fear not” does not change the very real possibility that your greatest fears may come true. I know this sounds like the catastrophizing I warned against, but the harsh reality of our world is that people do miscarry, get divorced, receive the cancer diagnosis, fail the exam, and go bankrupt. So what happens then? What happens when what you feared most comes true?

This is when we remember…

God is sovereign

God is presence

God is good. 

I have a tattoo on my left arm that says, yet He is still good. I’ll share more about it another time but it serves as a reminder that even if my worst fears come true, God is still good. God is still with me, and he is still in control. 

It reminds me that I as I stare into an unknown future, I need not fear or perceive it as a threat but as a space that is covered by God’s grace. Because, to echo the Apostle Paul in Romans 8, I am convinced that not even death itself could separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Remember When…?

If you are overwhelmed and not sure where to start with all this, here’s one thing, or one Person, to remember: the Holy Spirit. 

Jesus told his disciples that it was actually better for them that he was leaving. What could possibly be better than having Jesus, flesh and blood, right there with you? But it’s true!

Jesus said the Holy Spirit would be better because he would actually dwell within us, not just with us. Jesus told them that the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, would teach us all things and will remind us of everything Jesus said (John 14:26). Isn’t that incredible?

He also said that the Holy Spirit would guide us into all truth (John 16:13). So when I am spiralling in fear and trying to not forget and trying to remember—as Scripture says over 1,200 times—I can simply ask the Holy Spirit to guide me into all truth.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, bring to mind the truth of who God is. When I feel helpless, isolated, or vulnerable, remind me of all the times God came through for me. Remind me that he is sovereign, he is with me, and he is good.

What’s in the Ears

This is the part where I share a song or podcast I’m currently into. Today’s recommendation is by SEU Worship and it’s titled, Wild Rushing Wind. Let me know if you check it out!

If this stirred something in you, share this post with a friend or drop a comment below. I’d love to hear what small step you’re taking towards the flourishing life today! And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.