The Practice That Helped Me Flourish Again

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How the Ignatian Examen helped me recover peace, truth, and presence in Jesus

Have you ever felt like your faith ran out of oxygen? You’re doing all the right things, like: reading Scripture, showing up at church, and praying the right prayers, but still feel stuck or disconnected from God?

That’s where I found myself not long ago. What eventually helped me breathe again wasn’t more effort. It was learning to be still long enough to hear what Jesus had to say to me—about me.

The Year I Needed to Start Over

A few years ago, I found myself completely depleted spiritually, emotionally, physically. I had spent a year wrestling with anxiety and depression, and everything felt like too much. Even the things I loved like ministry, Scripture, and community felt distant and heavy. I knew the right answers, but they didn’t seem to reach my heart anymore.

In the middle of that fog, I started seeing a spiritual director weekly. I didn’t need more information about God, I needed that information to transform my heart. I needed help learning to breathe again, to rest, to reset the pace of my life and make healthier choices for my soul.

I had always valued growing in faith intellectually. I love to study the Scriptures and just about any books on theology, as well as engage in theological conversations. But what began to heal me wasn’t something I could think my way into. It came from stillness. From quiet moments of just sitting with Jesus.

Something happens when I make an emotional connection with him. When I feel seen by Jesus, I feel safe again. My heart softens. I can breathe. And I can show up better in my own life and relationships.

Jesus said,

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.” 

Mark 12:30

But how can we love God with our minds if our hearts still believe lies?

When Lies Sound Like Truth

One of my favorite film moments that captures this tension is in Good Will Hunting. There’s this powerful scene where Robin Williams’ character, a therapist named Sean, looks at Will (played by Matt Damon) and repeats a phrase that breaks through years of pain:

“It’s not your fault.”

He says it again and again, over and over, until Will finally breaks.

Watch the scene here

Will had built his whole life around the lie that everything bad that happened to him was his fault. He didn’t even realize how deeply it shaped his identity. Hearing someone speak truth over him again and again finally reached a place that logic couldn’t.

That’s what God does with us.

But here’s the thing: we won’t believe the truth about what God says if we never take the time to listen.

This is how I can best explain what my experience of prayer has been in this season—especially through the Ignatian Examen. It’s about getting quiet before Jesus long enough to hear what he has to say to me, about me.

Because we all carry lies we’ve believed since the Garden. Lies about who God is, and who we are. The only way those lies are broken is by spending time in the presence of Truth Himself.

God Shows Up Where He’s Wanted

Luke tells us that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (Luke 5:16)

That line has become an anchor for me. Jesus—the Son of God, the One who holds all things together—needed to withdraw. If even Jesus needed silence and solitude with the Father, how much more do we?

But here’s a lie I used to believe:

“God only speaks to spiritual, holy people.”

So what’s the truth? It’s simple!

“God shows up where he’s wanted.”

Even if you approach him with a bad attitude. Even if the prayers you’re uttering are not fancy. Even if you’re showing up tired, distracted, or numb.

The point of prayer isn’t to perform. It’s to be with God exactly as you are right now.

Because what I’ve come to realize is that when I don’t go to him, I start leaning on everything else to hold me up. And after enough fumbles and stumbles, I know now that nothing else can.

Paul writes that “in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17) and the writer of Hebrews says that “he sustains all things by his powerful word.” (Hebrews 1:3).

Even though I know this intellectually, my heart is slower to accept it. So even though I want peace when I’m overwhelmed, I don’t always go to the Source of peace. (Philippians 4:6)

I want joy that isn’t dependent on my circumstances, but I don’t go to the Source of joy. (Psalm 16:11)

I want unconditional love, but I forget to sit with the One who is love. (1 John 4:16)

I’m constantly having to remind myself that flourishing begins when we stop running from Presence and start resting in it.

Practicing the Presence 

Here’s the good news: learning to be still is just that—a practice.

Like exercising a weak muscle, it takes repetition and patience. Some days you’ll feel nothing. Some days your mind will race. But showing up, and then showing up again and again is what matters.

One practice I have found that has helped me re-center my scattered mind and slow down enough to actually hear God’s voice is the Daily Examen, a prayer taught by St. Ignatius of Loyola.

It’s not complicated or mystical. It’s simply a way to look back on your day with intention and with God. To see where he was present, to see where you responded to his love, and where maybe you didn’t.

St. Ignatius said,

“Prayer begins with you beholding God as He beholds you.”

And Mother Teresa described it in a simple and beautiful way:

“I look at God. He looks at me. We smile.”

That’s the heart of the Examen—mutual gaze. You’re not trying to impress God. You’re learning to notice him gazing at you.

How to Pray the Daily Examen

You don’t need a fancy space! Though lighting a candle, adding a plant, or playing soft instrumental music can help your heart slow down. They’ve sure helped me!

You might even keep a small bookmark in your Bible or journal to remind you of these steps; something tangible that draws you away from your phone and into God’s Presence.

 1. Be Still

Take a few deep breaths. Welcome the Holy Spirit. Center your heart and mind on Jesus and prepare to hear from God.

You’re not performing. You’re participating in the beautiful dance of the Trinity. You’re learning to move at the rhythm of God’s grace.

2. Give Thanks

Thank God for the small and big things that come to mind as you think about your day.

Gratitude rewires your brain. It literally changes how you see the world. As you thank him, you begin to notice his fingerprints everywhere.

3. Reflect

Now, gently review your day. Pay attention to your emotions. They’re clues, not threats.

Where did you choose the way of Jesus? Where did you resist it?Did you act out of fear, anxiety, or anger? Or did you act out of love, trust, and peace?

God isn’t shaming you here. He’s showing you what’s real.

4. Pray

Ask God to show you the places where you gave an inadequate response to his love—where you held back, ignored, or withheld what he freely gave you.

That’s what sin really is: not a list of rule-breaking, but a failure to live out of love.

Confess those moments honestly.

“God, this is where I didn’t share your love—with others or even with myself. Did I believe a lie that led me here?”

Then listen. He will speak truth over you. His kindness leading you to repentance and transformation.

5. Hope

Finally, look toward tomorrow with intention and hope.

Ask God: Where can I apply what You revealed to me today?

He won’t overwhelm you. His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30)

Maybe he’ll bring one person or one situation to mind. Follow that thread. That’s your invitation for tomorrow.

The Fruit of Presence

The more I’ve practiced the Examen, the more I’ve noticed subtle but sacred changes in my life.

I worry less.I notice beauty more.I catch lies sooner.I find myself responding with compassion instead of reactivity.

It’s not that life got easier. It’s that my inner life became anchored.

Flourishing doesn’t come from striving harder or fixing yourself. It comes from resting in the reality that you are fully known and deeply loved by Jesus.

And when you live from that love, when you truly believe that his presence is enough, your soul begins to grow again.

You begin to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, not because you’re trying harder, but because you’re abiding longer.

Milestone Moments

Some of my favorite memories of this past year was lighting a candle and sitting quietly before God at the start of a new day.

No big goals. No resolutions. Just presence.

Quiet moments to pause and remember how far I’d come and Who had carried me.

These moments have become markers of his grace. A reminder that my flourishing isn’t found in busyness or achievement, but in the slow, steady rhythm of time spent with Jesus.

So maybe today, before you pick up your phone or dive into the next thing, you could light a candle. Take a breath. Whisper a prayer.

Let Jesus tell you the truth about who you are.

Let him remind you that you’re loved, right now, exactly as you are.

Because in the end, the flourishing life you long for—the peace, the joy, the love that lasts—can only be found in his presence.

And he’s already here, waiting.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

What’s in the Ears

This is the part where I share a song or podcast I’m currently into. This recommendation is especially meaningful to me because it’s a podcast hosted by my nearly 13-year old son, Charlie, and my husband Xavier as his co-host. It’s called the Double Pad Stack Podcast. They talk all things hockey since stats and predictions are things my son could talk about all the live-long day! They 

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or your favourite streaming platform!