Desperate Times

Podcast available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or your favourite streaming platform!

What can we learn from the only woman to visit the tabernacle?

Ok, that is slightly misleading. Since religious observances would have been instituted for the Israelites, it is assumed that women would partake in the events at the Tabernacle. But in 1 Samuel 1 we zoom in on a woman named Hannah, and hers is the only detailed account of a woman at the tabernacle. 

Hannah was the first of two wives of a man named Elkanah. Unfortunately, Hannah was barren and not even the strong love and affection of her husband could soften the pain of that truth. It was rare for a husband to be so devoted to a wife who could not produce an heir, but it was not so uncommon for a woman to seek her value and worth in motherhood above all else. So it is no surprise that we find Hannah at the tabernacle, pleading to the Lord for a son.

While there, Eli the priest sees her deeply distressed and weeping bitterly as she cries out to the Lord. He wrongfully assumes her to be drunk and tells her to put away her wine and go home. Hannah explains that she is simply lamenting her lot in life and pouring out her soul before the Lord. Eli is moved by this and prophesies that the Lord will grant her petition, to which Hannah responds with elation. Out of her deep gratitude, she offers her son back to God promising to have him raised in service at the tabernacle as soon as he’s old enough to part from her.

If nothing else, it is a beautiful thing to see a person offer to God the one thing they longed for so deeply. So she does, saying, “my son will be for the Lord. As long as he lives, his life will be the Lord’s.“

Bring God your unfiltered heart

Pray honestly! Can you imagine how crazy Hannah must have appeared to others if the priest thought she was a drunk, babbling fool? She was not simply going through the motions, praying the rosary, or reciting written petitions. She was honest and desperate and unfiltered. I wonder if we think that God won’t take a seriously unless we approach him with neat, pious prayers that are perfectly structured and contain a vast vocabulary.

Even as I write this, I’m conscious of using elevated language because I want you to take me seriously. How ridiculous! Because not even God himself wants that. When was the last time your prayers sounded like a drunken, chaotic rage? I don’t remember when mine did. I wonder if God is waiting for that level of honesty and vulnerability. He already knows what is in your heart. You do yourself no favors filtering it before you bring it to him. 

God sees what others misread, misinterpret, misunderstand

Hannah felt comfortable and confident in being her true self in the presence of God. She is a model for us all to follow. Unfortunately, just because she was keeping it real with God, didn’t mean others would see her true self like God did. There is a risk in vulnerability that does not always guarantee favorable outcomes.

If you’re like me, you hate being misunderstood. It is truly my least favourite thing. I want people to believe the best in me. To know that I had good intentions for what I did or what I’m going through. We know this can’t always be the case so there is comfort in knowing God ALWAYS sees the truth. He will never misread you, misinterpret what you’re doing, or misunderstand your intentions. My hope is that you see the comfort in that, even if it’s scary, too. This is why we can trust God with our hearts. Because he is faithful and unchanging. We can be ourselves fully knowing God sees the very core of us and loves us unconditionally. 

Waiting is not wasted

Hannah grew a dependency on God in the waiting that could not have developed had she received the answer to her prayer for a child within her first year of marriage. God can grow something beautiful in our seasons of waiting. They are never wasted. 

There was a six month window in my life after I was let go from my job where I only heard God telling me to wait. That was the only word I heard from him for a year. I had ideas for what to do next but I was waiting for God to give me the green light, the go-ahead to pursue what he had laid on my heart. I didn’t know how long the wait would last (a year of unemployment in this economy is a long time!). I didn’t know if God would give me the desires of my heart (He didn’t. He took a year to change the desires of my heart as I took the year to delight in him). The waiting isn’t wasted.

Surrender is deeper than getting what you want

But it does take surrender. Waiting well means surrendering our rights, plans, ideas, and wishes. It means getting past what we think we need, getting over what we want, and trusting God with those things. All the while knowing he could answer that prayer if it is God’s best for us at that time. God would give you everything you ask for if you knew everything he did. And that’s the point of surrender: to welcome exactly what he allows to come our way with the firm belief that he really does know best.

Worship that flows from transformation hits differently

Sometimes we worship because it’s the right thing to do. When it comes to corporate, musical worship, we often only engage because we happen to be in the space where that’s taking place. But a heart transformed worships differently. Very often we live in such a way that we unknowingly are worshiping ourselves, our loved ones, our jobs, our goals. These things consume our thoughts and minds to the point that they border on idolatry and worship. We just don’t have a framework for that in our cultural moment. But that’s exactly what Scripture warns against. The theologian John Calvin famously called the human heart an idol factory. We make all kinds of things idols in our lives when they receive greater devotion than God in our hearts. But transformed heart doesn’t go through the motions with God, and certainly doesn’t go through the motions in worship of God either. When you come to a place where God is your source of life, worth, identity, and joy, just like Hannah—worship changes, too. 

Your private prayers can carry public impact

Finally, can you imagine what would happen if God’s people were truly honest with God about their desires and yet still yielded to his will as they wait? What an impact we could have on those who have chocked up Christianity as a fake, surface-y religion, without authenticity or real depth. I wonder how many more would come to the Lord with their hearts open to him. Let’s learn from Hannah and find out!

What’s in the Ears

This is the part where I share a song or podcast I’m currently into. The podcast Curiously Kaitlin aired an episode titled, “Why are Jesus and Scripture both called the Word of God?” And it was very enlightening. Let me know if you check it out!

If this stirred something in you, share this post with a friend or drop a comment below. I’d love to hear what small step you’re taking towards the flourishing life today! And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.