Troubled

Tina Avila
May 27, 2022
5 min read

Updated: Jul 7

This post was originally published in May 2022.

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In the spring of 2015, my husband began to look for work outside of our home province of Quebec.

Since Montreal is a big city with plenty of opportunities, most of our friends and family established their lives in basically the same parts of the city where they grew up. And we thought we would too!

But sensing God’s call to explore opportunities elsewhere, we polished up the resumés and scoped out the Help Wanted sites for hiring youth pastors across the country.

*When we put our house on the market (but not the children)*

As a sidebar, I also happened to be giving up the six years of seniority I had accrued with my local school board teaching History and English at the secondary level. I was sure I’d teach with that board until retirement. Unfortunately, I was just 30 years shy of that goal.

Turns out the anticipation of moving was really only exciting to me in theory. When it got down to it, my heart was troubled.

Life, as I knew it was about to change forever. Apart from my little family, the solid pillars of my life – work and community – were crumbling around me faster than I could grasp them and bottle them up.

I want to tell you that it was an exciting time. I want to say that we were super pumped and eager for what would come next. And although there were many days when that was certainly true, it was often scary too. And in quiet moments, I was troubled.

*Waiting for our flight to Leamington for a week of candidating*

I didn’t actually want things to change. I didn’t want to uproot my family. I didn’t want to meet new people. I didn’t want to find a new church. Or make new friends. Or live in a new house, find a new job, or new community.

As much as I love surprises and adventure and exploring, I didn’t want those things at the expense of giving up the good things I already had: a close knit family that lived nearby, lifelong friends who knew me to my core…

It’s just easier to move on when your current reality sucks. But mine didn’t suck! I was happy. And I was in no rush to change a thing.

That’s why I think it’s possible to hold those things in tension: peace about change, yet heartache over loss too.

Fortunately, God knows better and He was already putting the wheels in motion to make those changes in our lives before we even recognized our need for them.

Our first youth group event: baseball practice!

What to do with a troubled heart

I’m reminded of Jesus’ disciples in John 14. Like me, the disciples were blissfully content with the status quo and had no interest in drastic changes that would alter their lives in any way.

So when Jesus warns His disciples that He would be leaving them soon and that they could not follow after Him, they were clearly troubled by the news. So Jesus tells them:

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe God!

– John 14:1

What strikes me about this is not so much what Jesus says, but what He doesn’t say. He doesn’t say, Do not let your hearts be troubled…

Suck it up!
You can do it!
It’ll be fine!
Believe in yourself!
You got this!

When our hearts are troubled. When the future is unknown. When the path is confusing. When the plans are unclear.

Believe God!

Not yourself. Not your strengths. Not your gifting, talent, organizational skills, educational background, charisma, charm, or cash.

Just, God. Believe God about what He says about both Himself, and His promises to you.

The only thing we can trust in a changing world of unknowns, is a God who is unchanging, and who makes Himself known.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].

– James 1:17 AMP

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

– Romans 1:20 NLT

As Jesus told His disciples, the only remedy for a troubled heart is to believe God. I had mentioned this in my Easter post, but it bears repeating because I feel it to my core.

Leaning on anything besides Jesus for meaning or purpose will crush under the weight of our expectations for it to sustain us.

Moving was really hard. But it wasn’t impossible! And it didn’t crush me because I believed God for who He is.

He is trustworthy and true (Revelation 21:5)
He works all things out for my good (Romans 8:28)
His works are wonderful, I know this full well (Psalm 139:14)
He sets my feet on solid ground (Psalm 40:2)
He goes before me (Deuteronomy 31:8)
And He sustains me (Psalm 54:4)

Core Strength

When Saul was still king of Israel, he felt so threatened by his successor, David, that he made it his mission to destroy him. 1 Samuel 30 describes a time when David and his men discovered that their city was burned and pillaged, and their wives and children were taken captive. It goes on to say that David’s men wept for their families until they had no more strength to weep. And while we’re being honest, I get it! But not David…

David strengthened himself in the Lord.

– I Samuel 30:6

At some point, we all must decide where we’ll turn and what we’ll do when our hearts are troubled. Do we strengthen ourselves like David did, in the Lord, THE Source of strength? Do we believe God for who He is? Do we believe in His promises?

As the disciple Peter told Jesus in John 6:68,

Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life!

Peter recognized that there really is nowhere else to go in hardship but to Jesus. My prayer is that we’ll all get there too!

Preach to the Choir

One of my favourite Psalms ends with the author literally preaching to himself, and almost nothing could be more relatable. We all do this at some point, don’t we?

Psalm 43:5 NLT says:

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise Him again— my Savior and my God!

Other translations use terms like: depressed, downcast, disturbed, overwrought, disquieted, despaired, disheartened, gloomy, dejected, restless, and of course… troubled.

It’s ok to feel these things! God knows all about our brokenness and the broken world that causes pain. He created us. And He created our emotions and feelings too.

But it doesn’t mean He wants us to stay there. Sometimes, we have to do like the psalmist, and preach to ourselves. Put my hope in God! Believe God! Trust God! I will praise Him again… this troubled season won’t last forever.

*Exploring the lake the day after after moved*

To quote Shakespeare:

All’s Well, That Ends Well

Not to keep anyone guessing, but we did settle nicely into our new life and I wouldn’t change a thing. Not because I haven’t had a troubled heart here too, but because I believe God. And I only want to be where He planned for me. Where else would I go? He has the words of eternal life.